You heard it here first. Paris Hilton must run for President. Of the United States. Stop laughing, I'm serious.


As you may or may not know, CNN (the venerable bastion of news integrity) scooped everyone by booking Paris on the Larry King show last week. While reading Variety over the weekend, I noted the following statistics: that interview drew 3.2 million viewers -- more than triple King's regular average.

I can hear you saying "who watches Larry King? Is he even still alive?" Fair point. But consider this: when CNN aired the last two presidential debates, they could only draw 2.78 million for the Democratic contenders and 2.05 million for its Republican debate, earlier in June.

"Someone said this is the second biggest guest you can get in the world," King told "entertainment tonight." "The first would be Osama Bin Laden. Now, what is that saying about us?"

I'll answer you Larry. Paris Hilton for President. Yes, of the United States.

I wonder how high the ratings might be if, while as President, she captured Osama and Larry King interviewed both of them on television.